From the meat-packing plants to the prosperous tiendas Mexicanas and the taco trucks en cada esquina, my family and I have called Sioux City, Iowa, home for the last 26 years. Growing up in Iowa is a constant borderlands experience while at the same time being able to find solace in the resilient Latinx/a/o community. My academic experience is no different. As the only Latino in my program, it has been difficult to forge comunidad of other Latinx/a/o graduate students. Academia is not a home for so many of us who constantly straddle the in-between and is a space that continues to enact mental, emotional and cultural violence toward those of us who do not conform to the status quo.

Coming to the American Association of Hispanics in Higher Education (AAHHE) 2020 national conference as a graduate fellow, I brought with me the pain and hurt I have experienced in academia. As I entered my experience as a fellow, I could see that many of us shared similar sentiments being one of the few Latinx/a/o graduate students in our programs. What transpired as a result of so many amazing and critical graduate scholars was the development of a community that held space for us to grieve the pain, to question the structures of the status quo, and to envision a space of possibility that holds liberation at the forefront for all of us. For me, the community we built in such a short time is the most impactful component of what I received from the cohort of fellows.

As I presented my dissertation project at the conference, I was reminded of why our narratives matter. Being a part of the 2020 cohort of AAHHE Graduate Fellows was an experience filled with inspiration, hope and joy. Learning and sharing the ways we are transforming spaces of academia with our research and with our realities was transformative and impactful in ways that I had not experienced in academia. Working on my dissertation on queer Latinx/a/o college student activists and preparing to enter the professoriate, I am reminded by my cohort to always remember to use our voices and not wait until we acquire more privilege to speak up for what is just. As I continue to engage in collaborative research and practice with queer Latinx/a/o people in higher education, I must continue to lean into the possibilities of what we can create together.

In preparation for AAHHE 2020, I expected to acquire resources and mentorship, and learn from other scholars and community members, but I received so much more from my cohort. In order to make the change and transform the systems that have barred so many from our communities, we must lead with our hearts and be willing to engage in some level of risk! It is through my experience as a 2020 AAHHE Graduate Fellow that I reflected and envisioned what I see as my purpose and role in moving our community forward. Overall, this experience has made me more confident in my own research and my future as a scholar.